"Home" and the Bond

[Dinah]

I've been thinking about the episode "Home" lately. I'd like to think that the bond between Trip and T'Pol had already started to form. That would seem to be one "logical" reason for Koss to break off the marriage -- he wouldn't want to remain married to someone who was bonded to another.

A couple of things have been bothering, though. One is Trip's response to T'Pol's marriage. First, let me say that I think this was one of Trip's shining moments. He put T'Pol first; he was chivalrous and, after his initial anger, very understanding. But is this consistent with a bonded couple Would a Vulcan let his mate go without a struggle? I know Trip is Human, but shouldn't he be feeling something? Shouldn't he be fighting harder to control his emotions? During the wedding he just seemed broken hearted.

And what about T'Pol. A bond would seem to make her decision far more difficult. She already is struggling with her emotions. Could she turn her back on her bondmate so easily, even to protect her mother's position and reputation?

So does that mean that there was no bond? Was the bond just forming and therefore had little impact on Trip or T'Pol? Would the priest who married T'Pol and Koss have been aware of a bond? If the answer is yes, wouldn't he have stopped the marriage? Or doesn't he have that kind of power? And what about Koss? How much would he know?

[Glory1863]

Trip might have felt "something", but if nobody told him about the bond, then why would he know that's what it was he was feeling? Why assume that a Vulcan bond would automatically make a human less emotional, particularly if he didn't know about it? If the bond was making Trip feel "something", then perhaps in a human it would make the emotion worse, particularly if he didn't know about it. Bond or no bond, broken-hearted Trip seems about right.

How much does T'Pol know about the mating bond, and did it ever occur to her that it might form with a human? I always suspected not much and no or after the lectures she gives in Unexpected, you'd think she'd be a little more careful about dropping the robe. It seems that she got her own version of "unexpected." Would she even know what the bond felt like? It doesn't seem that the Koss-T'Pol bond, which should have started to form when they were promised to one another, worked any better than Spock's did with his ex. I seem to remember a line from Amok Time that was along the lines of he reached out for her in the mating bond and there was nothing there and never had been.

The whole Koss-T'Pol thing never quite made sense to me. His clan is the more powerful or he couldn't pull this blackmail crap. So what advantages were his clan getting by setting him up with her? Why does he persist in wanting someone who clearly doesn't want him? Why does he continue to want someone whose position has only gone down by being associated with the humans and P'Jem? I'm not seeing any Vulcan logic here.

[THE Rigil Kent]

You also need to factor in T'Pol's "pa'nar" - it could really confuse the issue, like maybe its causing "noise" or something.

The whole Koss-T'Pol thing never quite made sense to me. His clan is the more powerful or he couldn't pull this blackmail crap. So what advantages were his clan getting by setting him up with her? Why does he persist in wanting someone who clearly doesn't want him? Why does he continue to want someone whose position has only gone down by being associated with the humans and P'Jem? I'm not seeing any Vulcan logic here.

I've always felt the same way. From a story-telling POV, I see what they were doing, but the illogic of the situation confounded me. What does he get out of this situation apart from a pon farr buddy down the road (providing she actually shows up when she is supposed which, based on past experience, is a questionable matter from Koss & other Vulcans' POV.) So, not only does this marriage essentially drag his family down by tying them to the batshit crazy T'Pol (in Vulcan eyes), Koss is going to be the equivalent of a laughingstock because she promptly ran back to ENT, and then people saw how quickly he ditched her...

[Aquarius]

I am one of those who subscribe to the theory that the bond began to germinate with neuropressure. However, that doesn't mean it was strong. My belief is that it took repeated contact to happen. It's sort of like getting fat. You don't go to bed 100 lbs soaking wet and wake up fat the next morning. And eating something bad for you once or twice or even fifty times isn't going to be enough to do it. It's a cumulative effect that builds slowly.

Continuing with my "mental canon", the bond would still be extremely embryonic in "Home." Her marriage to Koss may have even caused it to have a "growth spurt" of sorts. We don't see what happens between the beginning of the ceremony and the beginning of the next episode. She says she spent the time meditating alone on Mt. Seleya, but are we 100% certain that her love and loyalty to Trip or her confusion over the situation meant that this was her intention all along? How do we know she didn't go home with Koss and try to perform her wifely duties in an effort to accept her new lot in life and purge Trip from her system, but when it came down to it, she couldn't? Could we suppose that the bond asserted itself when she started to get naked and sweaty with another guy? And why would she automatically assume it was a bond with Trip? She knows she's screwed up. She's got pa'nar syndrome and she's a recovering Tellium addict. So why does she go to Mt. Seleya, instead of a hotel? Or back to the Enterprise? My guess would be that she sought help from the monks and healers, believing what she was feeling was due to the neural damage from one or both of her conditions.

For Trip's part...my guess is that he felt something, too. But he's human. And she's quite likely the love of his life -- what he finally admits he feels for her is likely stronger than what he's felt in his three previous relationships that "went bust." So all the disappointment, anguish, heartache, and wanting to rip Koss's face off...my guess is that he doesn't suspect anything abnormal and he goes to find the nearest bottle of bourbon to try to dull the ache. I don't know that he'd necessarily have to react like a Vulcan, for the simple fact he's not a Vulcan.

The priest...well, we're talking about a society that currently views its telepathic birthright as a dirty little secret. I don't think the dude was about to go digging around into T'Pol and Koss's minds to notice what's up. Such a thing would be regarded as an invasion of privacy. Later, in the Spock/T'Pring times when the old ways are restored, sure. But not now.

Just my loose change.

[THE Rigil Kent]

but are we 100% certain that her love and loyalty to Trip or her confusion over the situation meant that this was her intention all along? How do we know she didn't go home with Koss and try to perform her wifely duties in an effort to accept her new lot in life and purge Trip from her system, but when it came down to it, she couldn't? Could we suppose that the bond asserted itself when she started to get naked and sweaty with another guy?

I must admit, that scenario bothers me for some reason. Maybe because I don't like Koss that much or because I'm pretty narrow-minded about my ships (sorry - that's just how I'm wired) or because I don't see Vulcans as actually be driven by the subconscious drive for sex as much as humans, so I kind of saw Koss just going back to work and not bothering with T'Pol after the marriage. I just can't see them going off to have sex after the marriage probably because of my own mental image of Vulcan society - to me, I'd see Koss as being fairly aghast at the notion of having sex with her on what amounts to the "first date" ...

Of course, I also have some other story elements in mind about that whole marriage thing so that also plays a part in my dislike of that scenario, but different strokes, right?

For Trip's part...my guess is that he felt something, too. But he's human. And she's quite likely the love of his life -- what he finally admits he feels for her is likely stronger than what he's felt in his three previous relationships that "went bust." So all the disappointment, anguish, heartache, and wanting to rip Koss's face off...my guess is that he doesn't suspect anything abnormal and he goes to find the nearest bottle of bourbon to try to dull the ache.

Wholeheartedly agree there, though I suspect he'd punch a couple of bulkheads during the trip back to human space.

The priest...well, we're talking about a society that currently views its telepathic birthright as a dirty little secret. I don't think the dude was about to go digging around into T'Pol and Koss's minds to notice what's up.

Heck, we don't know if he's even trained to do that ...

[Aquarius]

I realize that for most TnTers, what I speak about Koss amounts to blasphemy. But, as T'Pol reminds us often, Vulcans *do* have emotions. And if we're wondering what his motivation could possibly be for wanting her after humiliating him the first time...look at her.

Ok, so seriously, it's probably not as shallow as all that. But still. I don't find the idea of a ritual consummation of a marriage all that out of line with Vulcan society. And I like the inherent conflict the situation would have. I know a bond with Trip is endgame, so I'm not so squicked by Koss. I know where she's headed.

[THE Rigil Kent]

Well, as I said, different strokes. I'm less squicked about Koss in general (I don't have the burning hatred of him that many TnT fans do) than I am with the whole ritual consummation of a marriage because that (to me) is too human and I like the Vulcans having less human traditions. *shrug*

Plus, as I said, I have my own mental ideas about the reason for Koss & the marriage thing.

[Dinah]

But I thought the whole thing with the bond was to encourage fidelity. If T'Pol had a burgeoning bond with Trip, could she just hop into bed with another man, even if that man was her husband. I would think that there would be something trying to pull her back to Trip. Maybe that was the reason for the trip to Mt. Seleya and the meditation. Maybe she was trying to figure out why she was so set against consummating her marriage.

[THE Rigil Kent]

I could be wrong but I think the "bond encourages fidelity" is pure fanon - I don't think they've ever actually gone into the bond enough in any incarnation of Trek to establish what it does apart from hints and the like.

[Aquarius]

But I thought the whole thing with the bond was to encourage fidelity. If T'Pol had a burgeoning bond with Trip, could she just hop into bed with another man, even if that man was her husband. I would think that there would be something trying to pull her back to Trip. Maybe that was the reason for the trip to Mt. Seleya and the meditation. Maybe she was trying to figure out why she was so set against consummating her marriage.

Right. In my theory, she tries to go through it and can't. It also fits nicely with why she seems repulsed by his touch in the Vulcan Arc.

And even if the bond encouraging fidelity is fanon, it makes sense from an evolutionary perspective.