the delphic expanse

Comma Usage

While I'm not perfect in this area, blatant errors with comma usage are kind of a pet peeve of mine. Whether I'm editing for the zine or betaing a fic, there's nothing more tedious than constantly going "comma...comma...comma...comma..." through the document--or more frustrating if that's the only thing really wrong with it!

So here's the thing, gang: if we have to fix more than five commas in your fic, we are going to send it back to you and ask you to fix it, with a suggestion that you refer to the above link. I know it sounds a little hardassed, but it is a very time-consuming thing to "fix". Worse, if we don't have you fix it yourself, then chances are next time we'll have the same issues because you won't know to fix them. Your beta reader should be helping you with this, but we know that not all betas are strong in all areas.

When I was growing up, Grandma always used to say to me, "If you ain't got time to do it right, when the hell you gonna find time to do it over?" Okay, so Grandma isn't a grammarian, but she's a smart woman nonetheless, and in this she's absolutely correct.

So please, hook a sister up--save the admins and ultimately yourself time by looking over the information in this link and doing your best to get it right the first time!

Urban Dictionary's word of the day is not only amusing, it makes a great point about why you need to know what to do with a comma when you write:

Shatner Commas

A grammar lesson with a Star Trek twist!

ETA: In fact, I'm going to use this term from now on! If I beta for you and tell you that you have Shatner commas, you getter go pull them out!

Stephen Collins (yes, THAT Stephen Collins -- Decker from ST:TMP) Tweeted this gem today.

I shared the term "Shatner Comma" with my middle school students in grammar class last year. Amazingly, about half the class got the reference immediately. (That also led to a, whole morning of, students talking, like this.) They had a lot of fun pointing them out to me the rest of the year.

This excerpt from Eats, Shoots and Leaves is one of my favorite illustrations about why punctuation matters:

Dear Jack,
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy – will you let me be yours?
-Jill

OR

Dear Jack,
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men I yearn! For you I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Jill

The words are exactly the same in both letters. Only the punctuation has been changed.

OMG. That is the best example I've seen yet! Just sticking that punctuation in there completely changes the meaning.

I have more than a few friends who don't use punctuation at all. AT ALL. Reading their stuff always leaves me feeling a little breathless and tired.

Wow, Brandyjane! What a fantastic example.

Thank you a lot for the link. For me as a German, the wrong use of commas is one of the major criticism I get. Probles is that the use of them in English and German differs very much, so it is really driving me nuts to decide, whether to put one in or leave it out

I can't imagine how hard it would be to write a story in a different language, Kotik. Don't sweat the commas too much. Just find a good beta who knows that stuff inside-out and you'll probably be okay. (But I'm definitely not saying don't try to learn. Being grammatically fluent in both languages is a great asset!)