the delphic expanse

I searched the forums but didn't come across this topic and I would like to know where everyone weighs in on the subject.

Eye dialect is when an author makes an attempt to spell a word the way it's being said by a character in order to emphasize the character's dialect. Obviously, the character who gets this treatment the most around here is going to be Trip, being the southern gentleman and all. However, I read a fic the other day where Trip's dialogue was heavily laden with eye dialect, and it started to turn me off. Even though I would stop and consider certain phrases and think to myself, "yeah, that's exactly how he would say it," it still came across as making him seem like the stereotypical joke about the way southerners speak.

Personally, I am not a fan of translating EVERY single word a character says into eye dialect and it's not just because I think it can end up making the character sound like a parody if handled incorrectly (although that is a big factor.) My main gripe is that it makes the piece harder to read, since the reader has to go through an extra step of decoding. Once something begins to be too much of a pain to read, I'm out of there. (I'm especially bitter after having to read and reread Huckleberry Finn 70 billion times in my college career for several lit theory classes as well as linguistics classes. )

However, if conveying a dialect is important, as I think it is with Trip (and honestly, I know it's important in Huck Finn, too, I just hate.that.book) I'm alright with the author choosing a few words and having those be used consistently throughout the fic. For example, I don't think it would come across right to have Trip address Archer as "Captain" since that's a word he (obviously) uses frequently in the series and he most definitely says it "Cap'n." However, although I know he frequently drops the "g" in "ing" words, once you drop one in a fic, you've got to drop them all for the sake of consistency...and that can end up being quite a few.

So what does everyone else think of this? How much is too much? How much is just enough? Does consistency matter?

Oh, and for the record, I know I've read some grumbling elsewhere about the shoddy treatment Connor received regarding being told to speak with a southern dialect and then later on having it written in that the character is from Florida. For what it's worth (and the useless college degree gathering dust on my dresser claims I know my stuff on these matters ) I buy it. One, I'm from Florida and know many people here who speak in a similar fashion. Plus, given that he's supposed to be from the panhandle and it's more than 100 years in the future...I really don't think it's too bad a stretch to think that particular dialect (did I read that he based it on a Texas dialect? It sort of sounds like it) could shift and evolve to become mainstream in that region of Florida.

I lived in the Florida panhandle for twenty years (only an hour from Panama City), and Trip's dialect was fairly spot-on. I was in the area they called "LA" -- Lower Alabama. I knew plenty of people who spoke just like him.

I love "Cap'n". It helps denote when Trip is speaking without a dialogue tag. I don't believe dropping many more consonants would be wise, though, except when he's emphasizing his South'renness. I myself used to (and still do, way up here in North Dakota) exaggerate something for the sake of it to make a point. It's less in the spelling and more in the telling, if I may say that. Use of words, phrases, and tell-tale ways of speaking get his regional dialect to trigger in my head more than writing for the eye.

Just sayin'. XD

ETA: Arkansas, not Texas.

Here's how I'd answer this for Trip--and remember, this isn't always absolute, different situations are going to call for different solutions.

In general, I advise against spelling out how he pronounces every word, in favor of doing it for select words, like your "Cap'n" example. It's unique to him (compared to the rest of the cast) and allows for dynamic writing in terms of it being an easy way to tell who's talking in a dialogue exchange, etc.

However, I would hesitate to make the "g" clipping rule an absolute. Yes, you want to be consistent, but people code switch--they will speak differently depending on the group of people they're with or the situation. I'd write it clipped in situations when we'd expect most people's accents to come out thicker (like times of stress) or when he's putting on a the good ol' boy act, but maybe not in more neutral or professional situations.

And from Connor's lips to my ears at last year's STLV meet and greet: when he devised Trip's accent, he didn't ascribe it to any particular region, he just said he talked like what he thought a hick sounds like.

I think I remember reading somewhere that Connor said he spent a lot of time with relatives from Missouri (southern Missouri? Heh?) and based his accent somewhat on that. And yes, having relatives there myself, they do sound somewhat Southern on occasion.

Anyway, I was guilty when I first started writing Trip of doing the eye dialect thing. Now, when I go back and read those stories, I cringe. As one or more of you have pointed out, it's hard to read even if it sounds right, and that can be disracting. (I so agree about Huckleberry Finn.)

Now I keep it to "Cap'n," and a few dropped "g"s but usually when he is exciting or passionate or in a humorous mood. I also find that I write Trip's speech with a more informal structure and less precise words (except when he's talking about engineering or science) than some of the other characters might use. For example, Trip might end a sentence with a preposition and I wouldn't bat an eye. However, if Malcolm did it, it would be jarring (at least to me).

You have to be careful, though. Trip is educated. He's got at least one degree in engineering, probably, and is the chief engineer of a starship. Although his speech might be less formal, he's not sloppy. I don't ever recall Trip using the word "ain't," for example. He wouldn't say, "I ain't going to do that." He'd be more likely to say "I'm not gonna do that."

Kathy Rose wrote:He wouldn't say, "I ain't going to do that." He'd be more likely to say "I'm not gonna do that."

And it's the "gonna" in that sentence that makes it Trip.

Aquarius wrote:Yes, you want to be consistent, but people code switch--they will speak differently depending on the group of people they're with or the situation.I'd write it clipped in situations when we'd expect most people's accents to come out thicker (like times of stress) or when he's putting on a the good ol' boy act, but maybe not in more neutral or professional situations.

I see what you're saying, and I agree. I'm not saying don't use it at all, and I'm definitely not saying it couldn't be a useful tool to "show, not tell," I just think that if you ARE going to limit the eye dialect, consistency is key. For example, it might make sense for Trip to pepper a friendly scene with Archer with the word "gonna" and then to have him use the word "going" in a conversation with some Starfleet brass, but if someone wrote a Trip/Archer friendly scene and Trip used the word "going" and then in another later Trip/Archer friendly scene used the word "gonna" it would be sending mixed messages to the reader about characterization.

Kathy Rose wrote:I also find that I write Trip's speech with a more informal structure and less precise words (except when he's talking about engineering or science) than some of the other characters might use. For example, Trip might end a sentence with a preposition and I wouldn't bat an eye. However, if Malcolm did it, it would be jarring (at least to me).

I love this point. It's a much more approachable way to convey Trip's characterization (and even his dialect) without having to resort to overuse of eye dialect.

creek_chub wrote:I see what you're saying, and I agree. I'm not saying don't use it at all, and I'm definitely not saying it couldn't be a useful tool to "show, not tell," I just think that if you ARE going to limit the eye dialect, consistency is key. For example, it might make sense for Trip to pepper a friendly scene with Archer with the word "gonna" and then to have him use the word "going" in a conversation with some Starfleet brass, but if someone wrote a Trip/Archer friendly scene and Trip used the word "going" and then in another later Trip/Archer friendly scene used the word "gonna" it would be sending mixed messages to the reader about characterization.

Right. That's more an issue of keeping the codes themselves appropriate and consistent, versus a writer sticking to spelling something the same way no matter what for the sake of consistency.

The worst thing for me is to read a story where they use 'Ah' instead of 'I', or 'T' instead of 'To' in trying to emulate Trip's accent. It's way too distracting for me and frustrating. I've come across one or two stories like that. I've kept at them, because they were good stories, but it probably took me longer to read than necessary.

I've been guilty of leaving the 'g' off (as in goin'), and I've also been guilty of using slang (as in 'gunna'), gut I'll only use them in casual conversations, not if it's something more dire (as in I'm going to do that right now, Capt'n). I've kept the 'T' in my writing for Trip when he addresses the captain, because when I listened closely in season 4 he started putting the 'T' in (in season 3, I think he pronounced it 'Captain'!?!)

paulinem wrote:The worst thing for me is to read a story where they use 'Ah' instead of 'I', or 'T' instead of 'To' in trying to emulate Trip's accent.

I only do that if I'm writing Drunk!Trip.

Aquarius wrote:

paulinem wrote:The worst thing for me is to read a story where they use 'Ah' instead of 'I', or 'T' instead of 'To' in trying to emulate Trip's accent.

I only do that if I'm writing Drunk!Trip.

Ah, that's different. It's when the whole story is written that way that frustrates me!