Date: February 26, 2013 04:43 pm Title: Chapter 1
Ooh, that's a very strong concept - but perfectly believable as you write it. Not being able to admit to his pain, to acknowledge it, would have made it all the harder to deal with. You convey so clearly the sense of the exhaustion he feels, the inability to cope any more, the longing to either be with her or to be out of his suffering. Either way has to be better than where he is now.
Extremely moving. Well done.
Thank you for taking the time to review. I am glad that you found the story moving. It was a difficult story to write and while I didn't want him to die, it was inevitable.
Date: February 06, 2013 01:36 pm Title: Chapter 1
Jon's anguish is so heart-wrenching! The way you wrote this, I can really feel his pain. The fact that he didn't know he was going to be a father until after she died is so sad.
There is hope, though, isn't there? I saw that this story isn't finished. I hope something happens that gives Jon the will to keep on living.
Kathy, thanks for the review, I am glad that you enjoyed it. Unfortunately, the story is finished. I just forgot to check that box when submitting the story. I am sorry if my oversight gave you hope. :( But the great thing with fiction is that the characters will live to play another day!
Date: February 06, 2013 04:47 am Title: Chapter 1
Holy crap, that was so painful to read. Jon's despair is so real. I can understand his need for it to be over.
I guess there are some things that you can't come back from.
Sometimes there isn't. I am glad you enjoyed the story and thanks for reviewing!