Date: October 07, 2016 04:41 am Title: Chapter 26
Finally Trip is made captain. He sure deserves it! Despite the nature of the situation Earth is in, I thought that the first parts offered a little bit of much needed humor, before we went further with the intrige. I always like Trip's interaction with the Vulcans, so I am looking forward to your next chapter. Will he finally meet T'Pol in person again? I hope so!
Date: June 07, 2016 05:30 pm Title: Chapter 4: T'Pol
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Date: August 23, 2015 03:07 am Title: Chapter 25
I am very glad to see a new chapter. You pictured the chaos of the situation very well. It took me a moment to realize where we were, but when I did, it was sitting in a roller coaster. Normally I don't like those in real life ;), but I did like this one. I thought the turning point was that general Casey became ill and you picture very well how people didn't know how to act after such a surprising accident. I did however wonder if his illness was natural, may be he had been infected with some enemy-alien stuff (which may explain his hostal behaviour against Vulcans?). The other surprise was the attack of the loyal to Starfleet MACO's. Starfleet and the Earth council have a lot to think about how the handle the sentiment against aliens and how to reassure the people of Earth that their interest are well protected as that contact with aliens are a good thing.
As always, I really like Tamura. I like his way of thinking and really could relate to his frustrations. Great man.
Trip has a small part, but his presence was greatly appreciated. He is such a familair character (almost like I know him) in a sea of unknown persons that I really like having him in the chapter. Especially because he has grown in such a professional person in this area and his obvious interest in seeing T'Pol back as soon as possible!
Date: September 03, 2014 02:52 am Title: Admiral Gardner
I fully enjoyed this chapter, Dinah. I have to admire the way you introduce new characters and make them so alive in only a chapter. This chapter really has been a rollercaster, it reads very well and make me so curious what is coming next. And poor Trip with that whole "he is part alien" hanging over his head. Hope he will get out of this. I truly enjoyed your proytrayal of him. Thanks, Dinah for another great chapter.
Date: April 09, 2014 09:28 pm Title: Chapter 23: Trip
I really enjoyed this chapter, which is - as usual - very well written. I love how you started with a talk between Trip and Jon, restoring their friendship or better renewing their friendship. I am glad Jon has seen where he has been wrong and you picture the burden of knowlegde that Trip has very well.
The attack of the MACO's does come as a surprise. It reminded me of 1672 when my country was attacked from three outside forces. A panic broke out which caused a division between two parties to erupt. So you have outside enemies and a battle within. It looks like Earth is heading for the same. It also proves that under the surface more was going on than Starfleet knows.
The solution is to have some one who can unify the people and teach them to fight back the real enemy: the Romulans. Is Jon going to be that man?
I hope your writer block is soon resolved, because I really like to know where this is heading!
Thank you again for this great story.
Thank you for the review, Panyasan, and for the history lesson. I always think it's interesting when we can draw parallels between our writing and real life.
To tell the truth, I'd kind of like to know where it's heading, too. I haven't completely figured out the MACO situation. I didn't realize the potential mess I'd made for myself until I started to write the next chapter. Oh well, I'll just have to give it a lot of thought.
Thank you again for reading and reviewing my chapter. And for your unflagging support. You will never know how much I appreciate it.
Date: January 03, 2014 12:42 pm Title: Chapter 22
This chapter begins and ends very nicely with a nice interaction between two great friends, Malcolm and Trip. I also love a Malcolm-Trip scene. In contrast to the friendly bantering we have Trip meeting his old friend Jon at the end, but symbolized with the folded arms over Acher's chest, that friendship has cooled off lately.
I liked you brought Kov into the story. He is such a nice character and so refreshing different as the others in this story. I hope to see more of him.
The talk about Tolaris made me realize how much he has hurt T'Pol. She must have told herself it was her own fault and that she should stay away from emotional desires. I think her trauma with Tolaris would have made her very afraid of being lead to emotional desires again in the form of Trip and one of the reasons she tried so hard to not get emotional involved with him.
Luckily for her, she did in the end and your lovely scene as Trip helps her to speak about her guilt just proves it. Seeing our couple helping each other, just made a great scene.
Thanks for another great chapter.
Thank you so much for the review! There are so many raw feelings so close to the surface that I think only true friendship could survive.
Happy New Year, Panyasan!
Date: October 25, 2013 11:52 pm Title: Chapter 21: Trip
The beginning of this chapter was great. I loved that Trip and T'Pol had a time for themselves. It was funny when they got interupted and I can imagine that T'Pol wasn't amused Trip had forgotten to close the door. I love this kind of sweet bickering. Trip and T'Pol seems to be a great team and T'Pol makes Trip happy - so what more can I want? Thank you for protraying their relationship in this way.
Your descriptions are very nice, from the screens with different colors for different species till the design of the control room.
I must confess I got a bit lost in who is who with the Vulcans, but your Shran has a great voice of his own. I thought Archer's offer to bring him to Enterprise was ill timed, but it helped the Vulcans realizing that Shran means a lot to the Humans and they have to deal with that.
That interaction between Kiran and Trip was great, they are very different, but Kiran seems to value something in Trip - he has a gift of connection with people of all kind of species.
Your ability to express yourself in the language is a great example for me, just know you're a great writer!
Date: August 17, 2013 07:59 am Title: Chapter 20: Archer
I thought this was a very interesting chapter. I always have trouble to understand why people want Jon to be a diplomat. He doesn't seem to have a lot of patient in dealing with the Vulcans - as the beginning of your chapter shows - and patience is what he needs if he wants to bring Humans, Vulcans and Andorians together. But his image helps him, he is seen as the hero of the Xindi war, the first Human captain and his firm belief in the Coalition makes him a good candidate. But Jon needs a lot of luck and support from friends to make the talks work. Excellent chapter.
Jon is a man who's caught between what he wants to be and what others expect him to be. Poor man. I think he can manage to get the help he needs, though. He's a man with friends, even if he doesn't deserve them sometimes.
Thanks for the review, Panyasan. It's always good to hear from you.
Date: July 20, 2013 12:22 am Title: Chapter 19: Shran
I loved that this chapter is showing the Andorian Point of View. The struggle that Shran is having to do the right thing and find that prejudice on both sides is against him is very well shown as is the Andorian train of thought. I can't help to think that Kiran has been provoked into this fight by Trip's arrest. Tucker seems to be the only one who has earned some trust with Kiran and his arrest may have filled him with distrust and maybe anger at the Humans.
I hope Shran's sacrifice will pay off one day, because his situation is very bleak at this time. I can't wait to hear more about Shran.
"I can't help to think that Kiran has been provoked into this fight by Trip's arrest." What an interesting idea, Panyasan. I must admit that I'd never thought of that, but it certainly is a possibility. He'd started to trust one Human and now, with Trip's arrest, Kiran probably saw him as weak and ineffectual. His belief that Humans couldn't be trusted would only be reinforced, especially since Archer is trying to help the Andorians. Terrific observation!
I love your reviews because you always open new doors for me. Thank you so much!!!
Date: May 18, 2013 06:30 am Title: Chapter 18 - Commander Byum
It was rather refreshing to have a chapter with another point of view, that of Kevin Byum. For example seeing T'Pol and Trip's situation through his eyes, was a nice eye opener.
I like this OC, with his love for his family and his ambition and desire to travel the stars and defend Earth. Nice touch to add some family history with the card play that has been there on the shores of Normandie on D-Day.
The conversation between Phlox and Byum was a nice point of rest, before literally hell brake loss. Torok sure ware trying to save the day, but the threat of bloody war is so well written, you almost feel the tension yourself.
I can't wait for more! Thanks for an excellent chapter.
Byum was a challenging character because when I started I didn't have a firm idea of who he was or what set him apart from everyone else. Then I decided to figure out how a family man might feel who had to leave his wife and children behind to advance his career. It has to be a tough choice.
It was also nice for Phlox to put in an appearance. He seems like a natural bridge between the Xindi War veterans on Enterprise and new crew members. The doctor always seemed to be a very understanding guy, but one who doesn't sugar coat the truth.
Thanks so much for the review! it was very much appreciated.
Date: April 06, 2013 03:44 pm Title: Chapter 17
Trip's head must be spinning (as was mine) hearing all those new developments, but I am so glad proof of his innocence has been given. And of course, that Trip and T'Pol are back together again. Admiral Tamura is a good man to have on your side. I liked his silent communication and guidance during this chapter. I also liked the scene with Malcolm - he is indeed a good friend. I am glad Trip and T'Pol has sort of their own quarters - that must be a feast for our favorite couple who had been seperate for so long. I nearly missed this chapter because there has been a lot of spacing between chapter 16 and this one, but I am very glad I got up. Thanks for another great chapter.
I knew I had to get Trip and T'Pol back together, but for awhile there I wasn't quite sure how to do it. They definitely are better together.
Thank you so much for the review, Panyasan!
Date: March 12, 2013 12:01 am Title: Chapter 16: T'Pol
Wonderful chapter. I liked that you painted so well what the psysical results are of an attack: the disorientation and confusion of T'Pol is very well written. Mostly after such attack, you see people hardly being harmed by it, that isn't very realistic, so I liked your realistic take on the events after the attack.
Koss is dead. I don't care much about Koss, but in the last chapter you had me starting to feel more for him, just like T'Pol did. So I totally understand her mixed feelings and confusion when it comes to his death. And of course I am grateful he saved T'Pol.
The mystery still continues, but I got the feeling the more and more pieces of the puzzle are being revealed. Now it's still pieces and I am curious about the way this story will continue.
Loved the little TnT moment at the end and T'Pol's determination to fight and help her people for their freedom. Very well done!
I didn't start out to kill off Koss; it sort of just happened. I must admit that he wasn't a character I cared very much about -- maybe because he just showed up long enough to be a problem for T'Pol and then he disappeared.
I really appreciate your review! As always it's well thought out and insightful. Thank you so much!
Date: January 12, 2013 02:10 am Title: Chapter 15: T'Pol
What a cliffhanger! I wonder who is attacking T'Pol and her companions and who is dying at the end: is it Koss?
Like T'Pol I am not sure what to think of Koss. He gives me bad vibes, he may say that he means well, but he is a bit too obsessed with T'Pol for my taste. And his spying on T'Pol and his blind following of his families wishes, well it shows him in a bad light. Still, you can feel sympathy for him.
I am not sure what to think of this settlement, is it really a clue to free Trip or has Koss been set up to form a trap for T'Pol?
A very nice action packed and emotional chapter. I am so glad you started with that lovely scene between Trip and T'Pol and some explanation of T'Pol's action in the past (her trauma with her father's death). You can feel the love between Trip and T'Pol and that scene and we need it - because in the next scene we are going to face Koss.
Thank you again for a wonderful chapter of this tale!
Date: December 08, 2012 05:34 am Title: Chapter 14
First of all, I do admire your writing skills. I noticed when I read this chapter I was observing how you write things in order for me to learn more about writing! I especially liked the fourth paragraph - because it shows so much in great, compact sentence: Archer finishing his breakfast, his musing about Torok, the talk he had with Admiral Tamura. Jon is a driven man and you show that in every sentence.
I also liked you mentioning the fact that Jon has carried Surak's katra. Besides the fact that I didn't like the idea of Jon possesing Surak's katra (why not T'Pol), I also felt the event had little effect on Jon. You offer a great explanation: sometimes Jon feels the effects, but he can also effectively shut himself from Vulcan influence. The way you describe his dealing with Surak's katra came across as very realistic.
Back to the chapter: it's a very nice chapter. I think it's the turning point. Not that Jon will totally change - he is too subborn and too rigid in his own believes to do so, but at least Torok is able to point out where he is going wrong and what has such effect on his life: the thought that Jon is the one who is responsible for the fucture of Earth and the memory of his father.
One question really stuck out for me. Torok asked Jon if he is ready that things have changed. Of course this has to do with Trip and T'Pol's relationship (I am surprised he didn't see that coming), but it has also to do with the way Jon sees Trip. He refers to Trip as impulsive - while Trip has long grown out of this behaviour, if he ever was so very impuslive. Jon is far more impulsive or emotional than Trip at this point. I also notice Jon thinks fondly back on old times (Trip being his little brother), but not getting Trip has grown into a big brother and someone who has the abiltiy to do just that what Daniels has predicted for Jon: bringing different species together.
Nice to see some Erika-Jon sweetness at the end and you leave us with a cliff hanger! Is Vulcan going to be attacked by Andoria? I am eagerly waiting for the next chapter to be posted!
I think your assessment of Jon is right on the button.Things around him have been changing, but he's been so preoccupied that he hasn't noticed. To be honest, I'm not sure he's really ready to cope with the changes, but he doesn't have much of a choice. Trip and T'Pol have both grown and matured, as have a number of the other characters. They're preparing to spread their wings, which means Jon's support system -- which I think is very important to him -- will be gone.
Thank you so much for the review! Your thoughts on my writing skills are both humbling and very gratifying. I really appreciate your kind words.
I hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday season and a happy and prosperous New Year!
Date: November 24, 2012 02:30 am Title: Chapter 13: Archer
Interesting chapter! The dinner scene was very nice, a bit of normal life in the storm of political developments. Jon is really worried about Trip, isn't he. I doubted it a bit, because Jon has been so self centered lately, but this realization that he misses his friendship with Trip was very touching. (He also seems to miss - to a far lesser extent - Trip's admiration - Jon seems to need that kind of support).
It was great to see that Trip is also a good friend for Jon, but sharing his concern for Jon with Torok. Trip understands the struggle Jon is in. It's wonderful how you painted their friendship: they are deep friends who sometimes can't connect, but still very much want to be each other friends.
Jon now has effectivly shut down Torok's attempt to talk to him, but knowing the high priest Jon isn't off the hook yet! It's going to be very interesting and hopefully will help Jon.
Jon is one man who doesn't seem able to confront his weaknesses and deal with them. He knows there are problems with his friendship with Trip, but he can't bring himself to explore the underlying causes. He has an interesting idea of what makes a strong leader -- wrong on many counts, but interesting.
If Torok's going to set Archer on the right path, he's certainly has his work cut out for him.
Your reviews are a joy to behold! Very observant and well written. Thank you!
Date: November 24, 2012 01:59 am Title: Chapter 12: Osamu Tamura
This is a brilliant chapter. I am so glad things are revelead now and Archer and Tamura know what is going on in Vulcan. I really liked Tamura's obeservations: his disappointment in Archer's rather emotional reaction as being known as Starfleet finest and his thought that Jon need some anger management.
However, I was happy to see Jon has cooled down a bit and put his own hurt feeling aside. He is expressing his support for Trip of which I am very happy of.
I really liked the descriptions of V'Las's home, like the closets full of ancient Vulcan objects. It makes V'Las more a person of flesh and blood and added a nice illustration that people are complicated and have many sides.
During the conversation I noticed that Tamura's Japanese background served him well in his dealing with the Vulcan: he is more interested in maintaining a good relationship with the Vulcans than speak his mind or show his emotions.
The disclosures of the Vulcans and their battle within was greatly illustrated by the action of Tomac and did problably convince the Humans more than any other story.
The ending, with Torok going aboard the shuttle - was great. I hope Jon would be open for this man and his advice and I am glad to see them travelling together.
Thanks for another great chapter.
Poor Jon is a bit overwhelmed by everything that is happening to him. He still feels responsible for the well-being of his friends, but in many ways he is powerless to protect them. This would only compound the stress he's already under.
It means a lot to me that you like Admiral Tamura. I wanted a little of his Japanese heritage to show through.
Thank you so much for your review!
Date: October 13, 2012 02:58 am Title: Chapter 11: Osamu Tamura
This chapter was a very nice change from the tension that was built up in the previous chapters. We know Trip is in big trouble, but with this chapter our view is expanded to the broader picture.
Tamura is a great OC. You paint his childhood and background very well. Not being so outgoing is a skill that is more appriacated in Japanese culture than it's in Western, but you made a strong point about Tamura not being noticed. He has grown and you picture him as a strong, intelligent man. I am glad Starfleet has such great men in their service, I also like the international touch you give Starfleet with Tamura being part of it.
Tamura asked the good questions and give me hope this mess with Trip will be solved, a feeling that was lacking with the others of Starfleet Intelligence.
I am also glad you expanded the role of Brooks even more (she has grown some personality) and was very pleased with the offer Tamura Reed made. It would be so great for him to have this job (sometimes I have the feeling Archer doesn't see the potential in his own people that are there).
Sorry it took me a while to review this chapter. This chapter gave new life to your story, moved it in the right direction and I am looking forward to the next.
This chapter was an experiment. I wanted to see what would happen if I introduced a new character and did the chapter from his point of view. I'm glad you noticed that Tamura enabled us to see the big picture. Sometimes we're so concerned with our favorite characters we tend to overlook the things that are going on around them.
Gannet Brooks has a lot of potential. Because the show did so little with her character, she can pretty much be anything we want her to be. As for Malcolm, you're right about Archer failing to appreciate him -- or his other officers for that matter. Tamura's offer is certainly one Malcolm would have to consider seriously.
As always, you write wonderful, well-thought-out reviews. Thank you!
Date: September 15, 2012 12:34 am Title: Chapter 10 : Archer
This is one of the best chapter so far! Given the fact that the previous chapters are great, that's saying something. ;)
I got a pit in my stomach during the talk between Jon and Trip and I know Jon had a pit in his stomach too. I got very angry by the way Trip was treated and sad so see him in shakles. Trip is really in a mess. The reader of the prequel to this story knows what happened during the events that are described to accuse him and it gives this chapter an extra layer. How different things can be interpreted by bystanders.
I think the discovery of Trip's job offers and the fact that Trip didn't tell him, did Jon's mood towards Trip no good. Jon realized he is in the wrong too (Trip couldn't return to Enterprise thanks to Jon). But given the fact Jon doesn't like to feel quilty about the actions as captain towards Trip - he pushes that thought away very quickly.
I am very sorry for Jon that he lost it during the conversation with Trip. Trip is shutting him off, but he just can't tell Jon certain things. Jon doesn't understand that and in hurt, pain and anger stricks back with his words and leave Trip, rolling in self-pity.
I sure hope this mess will be resolved soon and Trip and Jon have a talk - to restore their friendship. They need their friendship for the good of both of them.
Oops! I missed responding to your last review. I'm so sorry.
This is a difficult time for both Archer and Trip. Jon is definitely having a problem with the Trip's failure to be open with him. He can't understand why Trip is willing to talk to Soval and not to him. Because he feels hurt, he lashes out without considering Trip's feelings.
Trip, on the other hand, is trying so hard to do the right thing that he finds himself trapped in an untenable position. I wonder if the Vulcans will ever fully appreciate what he's doing for them.
Thank you so much for your review! You're terrific!
Date: September 10, 2012 02:05 pm Title: Chapter 10 : Archer
Love this chapter! I haven't had a chance to read your story yet at all, but reading this so I could validate it had me absolutely riveted. Love the antagonists here, love the frustration of the interrogation, everything. Now I'm wondering what the heck Trip got himself into, and why everything seems to have gone to hell in a handbasket for the Coalition.
I'll read the rest of the story when I get a chance but I just wanted to drop a note and say good job on this one.
Author's Response: Coming from you, this is high praise indeed. Thank you so much! I hope the rest of the story holds your interest. Getting the characters into trouble is easy; finding a creative and believable way to get them out of it is hard.
Date: September 02, 2012 01:06 pm Title: Chapter 9: Archer
I really like this chapter. It flows very naturally. You really get inside Archer's head. Jon is frustrated and angry with his life and angry with Trip. Luckily he doesn't believe Trip nor T'Pol is a traitor. It's amazing how you manage to protray Jon so accurate with all his flaws and you still love him.
I also like the role of Malcolm, trying to talk to Trip and being frustrated he doesn't.
I understand Trip: what can he say, besides "I am not a spy?" Does he have any means to object against these accussations? Does he know the evidence? I also thought it was interesting that the investigation against Trip had taken some time and there's lots of evidence. Clearly, Starfleet had good reasons to arrest Trip.
Jon has gone a long way in accepting Vulcans. However, in the last scene you see Jon struggle with the conditions on Vulcan. I thought it was a nice illustration of his continuing struggle to understand and understanding (and accept) Vulcans.
As for his talk with Ganneth, you made her a much more likeable person than on screen. (I really dislike her, she wasn't much of a reporter in my eyes). I also liked that she and Travis have a good thing going on. BTW, loved the little scene with the Vulcan mother and childern and Ganneth waving at the little girl. Gave the whole scene a feeling of real life and a nice insight in Vulcan society.
I was happy with Archer that Ganneth pointed him to Kelby. Kelby would have a grugde against Trip and plenty of opportunities to plant evidence. Things are looking up a bit for our friends!
Author's Response: You're right; Archer is a very interesting character. He seems to be a man who is being forced to be something he's not and something he doesn't want to be. In many ways, Trip and T'Pol are his anchors. It's only natural that he would want to help lift the suspicion surrounding them. As for the Vulcans, Jon is definitely more open-minded, but it would take a long time for him to put aside years of anger and prejudice. I must admit that I didn't particularly care for Gannet Brooks, either. She has come in handy as a character, though. I'm glad that you see Kelby in the same light that I do. He probably was nursing a major grudge against Trip. He always seemed kind of sneaky to me. Thank you so very, very much for your generous review. You made my day!
Date: August 07, 2012 05:04 pm Title: Chapter 8: Major Luvan
I really liked that you wrote this chapter with major Luvan's POV. Looking through his eyes you learn so much about the Vulcan way of thinking and how they see their relationship with Earth. I liked you add some detail about Luvan's family - his relationship with his father, wife and sons - it makes the chapter so much richer.
The political speech Trip and T'Pol listened to really got to me. I have a thing against big crowds following a leader without thinking. I can only image how threating this must have sound for T'Pol.
In the past chapters you painted that the relationship between several Coalition members had become very strained. Now another relationship between two members is under pressure. It seems Starfleet is doing everything to create more tension between Earth and Vulcan. I can't say that's very wise politics.
I really liked the conversation between Luvan and Trip about the briar patch. I think Trip is spot on about what the Romulans are doing. On a side note, I always liked to learn more about Trip's background, like an unknown piece of American literature. I am going to look that story up!
I was surprised that Starfleet sort of dropped Trip and T'Pol after their long and faithfull service to Starfleet, but the end makes it clear why.
My first thought was "Is Starfleet completly out of his mind?"
And what about Archer? Is he doing anything to help Trip and T'Pol? Are they still his friends?
I have a feeling this chapter is a real turning point in your story and I can't wait what's more in store. Thank you for such a wonderful tale.
Author's Response: I'm really glad you liked Major Luvan because I was a little uncertain about writing about him. Vulcans can be a challenge; it's hard rather hard to give unemotional people a personality. I think you're right about this being a turning point, although I hadn't really thought about that before. Interesting! Trip's been walking a fine line for quite awhile in his dealings with the Vulcans. I have a feeling he knew it could lead to trouble, but he was just trying to do what he thought was best for everyone. Definitely a no win situation. Archer is still friends with Trip and T'Pol, but things are a bit strained right now. It doesn't help matters that Trip and T'Pol aren't on Enterprise, but even if they were, I'm not sure how much they could reveal to Jon about what has been going on. Your review was thought-provoking and well-written, as usual. Thank you so much!
Date: July 22, 2012 08:07 am Title: Chapter 7: Trip
This was a most interesting chapter. All the way through the chapter I got the idea more was going on than meets the eye.
You start where you ended the last chapter: with Trip meditating in quiteness. But his rest is soon distrubed by the things to come.
I always felt that Malcolm acted rather unprofessionaly and a bit childlish being jalours at Major Hayes's and the MACO presence in season three. Now he is acting all the same with the Vulcan guards. The way he reacted and to bolt out the room (at a wake!), while shoving his robe in someone hands, wasn't his best moment. It seems like Malcolm put his personal feelings above trying to mend good relationship with people he needs to work with.
However, he is not alone in this. In your story, Archer and Kiran are doing the same. A common theme in your story!
I was got off guard when we suddenly were in the room of V'Lin (how did we get from the room of meditation in his room?) - but I found his disappearce very intriguing. I think he was a victim, but what did he discover? And who is behind the transfer of Trip and T'Pol. And why? Very mysterious indeed.
The conversation with Kiran was wonderful done. I especially liked the way you incorporate elements of Vulcan nature (the heat, the mountains, Trip picking up stones and throwing them to a plan, the nearby storm) into their talk. The coming and going of the shuttles was also a nice touch. Trip's musing about wanting to be close at night to his wife and the tender love between them of which it spoke, was a nice warm moment.
Without admitting, I think Kiran is more open for Trip than any other Human. His "Who can I trust now" was a rather personal outburst for such a closed person.
In the shuttle Luvan made some interesting remarks about Andorians that gives us a different view at them.
I fully understand Trip's frustration and I was glad for that tender moment between Trip and T'Pol.
You sure did increase the intension in this chapter. What will happen next? Can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: What an interesting observation of Malcolm's behavior! I hadn't tied his reaction to the two Vulcans with his confrontational attitude toward Hayes, but I think you're right. He just doesn't like someone else moving in on what he considers his territory. I think you're right about Kiran -- he doesn't like Trip, but he is beginning to trust him. It's not much, but it is a start. Old prejudices die hard. I wish we would have seen more of the Andorians on the show. So much of the way we look at the Andorians is based on Shran, and I'm not sure he was typical. Maybe that's what I'm trying to figure out. Thank you for taking the time to write such an in-depth review! You're the BEST!
Date: July 06, 2012 03:28 am Title: Chapter 6: Trip
I love that last line! It's one of the best in fanfic I ever read. This is a wonderful chapter.
Let me start with the first scene. Maybe it's because I know what's going on in Trip's life and Malcolm doesn't, but I had some trouble getting that Malcolm was teasing Trip. But what a good friend Malcolm is. When he realizes something of Trip's situation, he confirms his friendship right away.
What a difference with that other friend, Jon! Now you know, I love your Jon. But when Trip is called to help the Vulcans, he is so hurt he lashes out to Trip and hurts him. The whole "give me names to replace you"-scene was painful. I am glad Trip got a chance to show Jon he is still his friend.
In constrast to Malcolm why the Vulcans don't trust Jon (the Xindi hero, founding father of the Coalition) I can imagine why. First of all, Jon has a reputation of mistrusting Vulcans (and has been acting rude against them recently) and is acting rather emotional. Secondly, Vulcans have a long memory and they measure "success" differently. Maybe Jon isn't that succesfull in their eyes.
The key is that Vulcans are acting like every person in every culture does, if you love and accept them, they would return that feeling in kind. Without being aware of this, this is the strenght of Trip. His heart is open to Vulcans, so they are open to him.
The last scene was very touching and beautifully written: Malcolm, Trip and T'Pol mourning the lost lifes of the Vulcan crewmates. As I said, I loved that last line which sums up Trip's life now so beautifully that an unemotional Vulcan would teach him what it truly meant to live and to love.
Thank you for a great chapter!
Author's Response: I really like your views on the Malcolm-Trip and Jon-Trip friendships. They both have certainly evolved over time. When Jon is faced with critical tasks, he seems to become obsessive -- the task becomes all he thinks about and friendships suffer. I'm glad you can see why the Vulcan might not be as quick to sing Archer's praises and the Humans. Archer really is a very good man, but he just got off on the wrong foot with the Vulcans. And you're right; they do have long memories. I think it was important for Malcolm to begin to understand the new obligations and responsibilities that are a part of Trip's new life with T'Pol. Malcolm doesn't know everything yet, but he knows enough to have a pretty good idea of what's going on. It's also important for Trip to have someone who will support him unquestioningly. Thanks so much for the review! You're great!
Date: June 16, 2012 02:03 pm Title: Chapter 5: T'Pol
I noticed that you've posted chapter 4 and 5 before as one chapter, but can I say the chapters work much better being seperate one.
In contrast to my last review, I gained much more understanding by this chapter for the frustration of Starfleet with their ally Vulcan.
The first scene is full of people, but the ones that speak out have a clear unique character and ow voice, which proves your writings skills. My main impression is the course of action is not dictated by logic as one would think of Vulcan, but by fear and selfinterest. It's a dangerous combination.
I loved the way T'Pol is focussed on Trip. She is deeply in love with him and through this chapter that's is a uplifting theme with everything going on. I especially liked the scene when T'Pol is listening to the timbre of Trip's voice and the scene when she is stuyding his face and muses about how much Trip has grown as a person. In your story he has and that's one of the reason I enjoy the story much.
In that scene you had one sentence that I loved because it was so beautiful put. As I struggle with my English, I can only admire and enjoy a poetic sentence like this: After a courageous struggle, he was finally winning his battle with depression, but she knew that it wouldn’t take much for the darkness to claim him once again.
Frankly I shrugged with Jon's bad mood. I know it's a terrible blow for him, but I really think he needs to talk about this with some one and get some help. Looking forward to see what plans you have for our dear captain.
The end: hot, tenderfull and full of love: a worthy end of this wonderful chapter.
Author's Response: I decided some of the chapters were way too long and decided to split them up. I wondered if anyone would notice. You have sharp eyes. I am also impressed every time you write a story or leave a review by your command of the English language. I took Latin in high school and some French classes in college, but it never amounted to much; I just don't have an ear for languages. I'm glad that you thought T'Pol's love for Trip was obvious. As you know, it's not always easy to convey a person's feelings when they don't feel comfortable expressing them verbally. As for Archer, he sees everything he's worked to build beginning to crumble. He's not the type of man who can accept the fact that he's powerless to make things right. I think you're right about him seeking help, but I don't think he'd do it. He'd have to admit that he has a problem. He's more apt to try to go off by himself and try to escape. Thank you for the lovely review! You put a big smile on my face and a song in my heart.