Date: May 21, 2012 12:55 am Title: Prologue
First, I'm already intrigued -- things between Archer and Trip seemed kind of broken after "Cogenitor," so I am anxious to see how that private campout is going to develop.
Second, appearance by Porthos = score! :)
Thanks, Aquarius! Yup, gotta have Porthos wherever I can! :)
Date: October 12, 2011 08:23 pm Title: Epilogue
And you bring us full circle, the friendship intact through the past pain. I love the way they both vow to do what is best for the other, and taking this thought into The Exapanse, it adds depth to the canon stories on screen. This proves how well you know our ENT crew, and are able to bring out more of them to us in your stories.
Oh, yes, I really felt the need to show that the distance between the two friends was because of what happened on Earth, and not because of the Cogenitor.
One of the things I also tried to get across was that as Trip left his quarters he was already too late, that the captain had already closed his soul and heart off in order to deal with his mission. As someone has suggested a sequel, I may delve into this a bit more.
Date: October 12, 2011 08:17 pm Title: Chapter 2
'And the storm that is Trip Tucker, my friend, rages down as thunder roars and the heavens open, kicking the dust up around us.'
this is an amazing line....and i absolutely love the way you have both storms, internal and external, raging simultaneously.
That hug is priceless.
Yes, I love that line myself! It took a bit of doing to change it so that it came from Jon's POV, so I'm glad I was able to do that right!
Somewhere in my mind, when I was writing this, I had the impression that the planet maybe is attuned to peoples emotions, and that was why the storm brewed at the same time Trip and Jon's storm began. Hey, but I'll leave that up to peoples imagination! :)
Yes, I love that hug, and it's where this story began. :)
Thanks, Tish, for leaving your reviews. It's always nice to get feedback.
Date: October 12, 2011 08:08 pm Title: Chapter 1
Soul searching while climbing a mountain face....not very good there Archer!
Great combining of his physical exertions with his emotional ones, as the truth will come out under pressure. And i like the way you portray the wall Trip has up between them. Excellent!
Thank you, Tish!
Yes, someone commented on Archer doing his soul searching while climbing, but I sorta figure that people do multitask when needed. I know I've done soul searching while driving - also not a good idea. :)
Date: October 12, 2011 08:01 pm Title: Prologue
Don't worry about the changes, this is all good. Archer needing to fix Trip, and himself. You have provided a suspensful beginning to this challenge.
Cool! I'm glad you're okay with the changes!
Date: September 24, 2011 08:30 am Title: Chapter 2
I love the way you made clear that Trip had formed a strong connection with Charles and really saw her as a person. In that light it's understandable that Trip is very affected by her death. I seriously doubt if it will lead him to killing himself, but I love the line that he tells Jon that he didn't because he didn't wanted Jon to feel guilty - no one has to feel that kind of pain (like he did). It shows Trips good nature and what a great man he is (they both are).
Their debate was a storm in itself and the storm and rain around them added greatly to the impact of the scene. It gives the scene a great dynamic. Wonderful done.
I love that you talk about Trip weeping, it's a much better word then cry. Trip isn't the crying aloud type, but his crying is a fitting climax, and you picture him like any man would cry - still holding back.
The last line was brilliant. Also for Trip and Jon the rain has stopped and the storm had passed.
Thank you for all your reviews, panyasan! And, I'm really glad you got a lot out of this story.
I remember addressing Trip's state of mind in the workshop. As I see it, sometimes people will surprise you with what's going on in their heads. Would Trip feel suicidal? I think he is capable of it. When I watched this episode for my research, I carefully watched Trip's face. He was a devastated man. He's natural desire is to help people, and here he was being told that he was the cause of two sentient beings death, then to add insult to injury, his captain, his friend, turns his back on him. I can see this playing mightly on Trip's mind, and I thought it important to delve into how he would cope. All of this if just my opinion, mind, so please don't take offence.
As for the storm scene? OMG, that was diffcult to write, so I'm glad it worked out.
I should also add, that this story was inspired by a picture from 'Desert Crossing.' It's a shame I couldn't post it here, but that crying scene was where it all started. :)
Again, thank you for all your reviews, I've enjoyed reading them.
Date: September 24, 2011 12:54 am Title: Epilogue
I found the epilogue very touching. Jon sees himself as the older brother, that needs to protect the younger brother Trip. That's he try to do this on his own. I think he is wrong about Trip, who is much stronger then Jon thinks. The last bit shows that and Trips saying "He won't have to do this alone." A great solution for the distance between Jon and Trip in season 3 and 4, showing both man's strength. Wondeful work, paulinem.
Again, thank you!
I know the popular belief is that the reason the two of them in seasons 3 and 4 is because of what happened in the Cogenitor, even Scott said as much, but I don't hold that belief if only because of what I saw in the opening of Bounty, they seemed to be on level terms again. So, in that light, I wanted show that there could be another reason why they became distant. Trip, because he was hurting, and wanted revenge, while Jon was insecure and handled the situation the best way he knew how, and that was by closing himself off to others, and not just Trip.
Date: September 24, 2011 12:27 am Title: Chapter 1
In the prologue and the beginning of this chapter I got the feeling that Jon feels he is the "stronger" man that will fix the "weaker, emotional" man Trip. But during their walk Jon realizes this is not the case. He rethinks what he has done and sees the situation in a different light and understands he has been in the wrong. That makes Jon Jon, because he can admit his mistakes. The situation was complex, but I always felt that Trip acted with kindness, with more human kindness then Jon. It was also interesting the way T'Pol seems to have influence Jon. This is a very good example how you can struggle when you meet alien cultures that are so different then your own. Very good chapter.
Thanks again, panyasan!
Yes, I'm with you on this, that Jon would have done the same thing, which is why I wanted to explore why he reacted the way he did.
Date: September 24, 2011 12:17 am Title: Prologue
Cogenitor was one of my favorite episodes and the friendship between Trip and Jon is unique, so this is going to be interesting. I also saw the first draft in the workshop and I am curious how you developed the story. I thought you got Jons voice pretty well. I liked the moment when Jon seeks comfort and talks to Porthos. Nice man-dog moment.
Thank you, panyasan!
I wouldn't say that Cogenitor was my favorite episode, but it was an episode that left a lot of unsaid questions, which gave us fanfic writers food for fodder.
Oh, yes, I had to have Porthos. :)
Date: September 21, 2011 02:42 pm Title: Prologue
Wow! That epilogue was fascinating. I like how you have Trip reflecting that Jon is wears his heart on his sleeve. Trip's the one who is always accused of that, but he actually hides away so many of his deep feelings. Jon actually does reveal a whole lot of what's going on inside, even though he doesn't always verbalize it. Jon needs Trip but wants to protect him by going it alone. Trip realizes that Jon needs him and decides to be there for him anyway. I think you've really hit on something there. Maybe one of the reasons that Trip didn't open up very much about the loss of his sister was that he was trying so hard to be strong for Jon. He knows he can't fall apart because the mission needs him and his friend needs him. This is one story that is really leaving me thinking. Is there any chance of a sequel?
Thank you, Brandyjane!
Yes, as I said in my previous replies, I wanted to hint at the reason why Jon and Trip drifted apart in season 3, that it wasn't because of what happened with the Coginitor.
Hmm... a sequel??? If the right plot bunny comes along I certainly will. :)
Date: September 20, 2011 09:58 pm Title: Epilogue
Very well done, pauline. You showed how they could have talked this out and healed, each being honest with the other.
The epilogue was powerful. That Trip means to be there for Jon tells the character of the man. You did a great job with this.
Thanks again, bluetiger! Yes, I didn't want to leave it on the mountain top, because in my mind they had settled things.
Season 3 always fascinates me in that the two of them seemed to drift apart, and a lot of fans put that down to the Cogenitor, but I wanted to hint at that this wasn't the case. It was more of a case of Archer cutting himself off because he didn't want to be a burden (or something like that:) ).
Date: September 18, 2011 10:52 pm Title: Chapter 1
Ooh, I like this one! One of the things that bugged me about "Cogenitor" is that Archer and Trip never dealt with the fallout of their confrontation onscreen, and I love the way you handle it here. Especially Archer's realization that he didn't act entirely perfectly either.
Thank you, HopefulNebula! Yes, I think most fans, if not all, I was left with wanting more, and when you watch the opening scene of Bounty, it gives the impression that they sorted through their issues. This is where this story was born from! Thank you, again!
Date: September 18, 2011 09:47 pm Title: Chapter 1
I like this a great deal, pauline. I'm not out to bash Archer but I love the way you have him man-up to his part in all this. It is satisfying to see Jon think through the events with a clearer head. More, more, more!
Thank you, bluetiger! It was tricky to write this story. Like you, I wasn't out to bash Archer (or to demonise T'Pol), just tried to explore what was going on in Archer's head at the time. And, more, more, more, you have! I hope you enjoy the rest! :)
Date: September 17, 2011 09:56 pm Title: Prologue
Very nice beginning, pauline. I like that Archer realizes how badly Trip was affected by all that happened. Also that maybe a bit of it was his fault. Eager to see where you take this.
Thank you, bluetiger! I do have this finished (yay!), so it won't take too long to find what happens.
Date: September 17, 2011 08:41 pm Title: Prologue
Oooh, fascinating. I can't wait to read more. I'm loving the post-Cogenitor fics that have been popping up lately.
Thank you, HopefulNebula! I hope the rest of the story will be satisfying.