Date: March 30, 2011 09:09 pm Title: Chapter 1
So cute! Archer a "grandfather" of sorts, lol!
I like that you didn't force the song's lyrics into the actual story or dialog here. Insterspersing them through the story made it feel more like a soundtrack to the scene - very nice!
I know this is a fluffy Valentine's Day piece, so the focus is on the romance but I wanted to comment that I loved the brief moment between the boy and Malcolm. It was understated but still very effective: Malcolm's quick reflexes, a nice reminder of his background and personality, and a great way to paint the harbor environment.
Date: March 06, 2011 12:15 pm Title: Chapter 1
Talk about giving you the warm fuzzies. I think that may have been the perfect proposal. Things went just the way Malcolm wanted and we got a glimpse of what all the other characters were up too. So romantic, I just love it.
Date: March 01, 2011 04:28 pm Title: Chapter 1
That was so sweet, Lady Rainbow. And your descriptions were excellent! One thing I really liked was that, although you used other languages, they didn't feel intrusive or obstruct the flow of the story, which sometimes happens when other languages are inserted.
I had to laugh at Malcolm's thoughts about Trip giving him fashion advice! And then Malcolm's reaction to Hoshi's outfit -- woo-hoo!
Thank you, Kathy!
Yeah, leave it to Trip to give all sorts of "helpful" advice. XD
Date: March 01, 2011 01:31 pm Title: Chapter 1
I really enjoy this story. The song lyrics and the story flowed very well together. I loved the Manderin and Malay (tone languages - I salute any one who can master them). The use of the languages added such a nice flavour to the whole story.Well done.
I'm currently learning Mandarin, but I can't claim mastery in Malay. LOL! I had a friend from Charlotte's International House double check it. I became cross eyed as I tried to figure out what she was saying. XD