Date: February 26, 2013 04:43 pm Title: Stepping Into the Darkness
Ooh, that's a very strong concept - but perfectly believable as you write it. Not being able to admit to his pain, to acknowledge it, would have made it all the harder to deal with. You convey so clearly the sense of the exhaustion he feels, the inability to cope any more, the longing to either be with her or to be out of his suffering. Either way has to be better than where he is now.
Extremely moving. Well done.
Thank you for taking the time to review. I am glad that you found the story moving. It was a difficult story to write and while I didn't want him to die, it was inevitable.
Date: February 19, 2013 04:56 am Title: Think of Me
Duty certainly does get in the way of a wonderful romance.
At least they do get to spend that time on the bridge together.
All we can do is hope that when their tour of duty is up, they can find some happiness together.
This was a wonderful tale of a love affair on hold.
Thank you, bluetiger.
Date: February 17, 2013 09:42 pm Title: Think of Me
What a beautiful metaphor - Hoshi and Malcolm as the bookends on the Bridge. Very sensitively written, on a topic that's easy to overdo. I particularly like your take on Malcolm as being prepared/resigned to love at a distance.
Thank you, Eireann. Malcolm's got the reputation of being a stickler for regulations, so I think he could convince himself that, if he probably shoudn't have a relationship with Hoshi, he was happy to simply be near her while they worked.
Date: February 17, 2013 04:14 pm Title: Think of Me
I really like the fact you wrote such a great Malcolm and Hoshi story and the fact we get to see he he changed about how he felt about Hoshi and he loves her.I really like to read missing scene stories like this .Exiles was underated episode.I'm glad you showed that Hoshi didn't fall for Tarquin's deception with his telepathy.Hoshi was certainly glad to see Malcolm.
Thank you, Reanok.
Date: February 16, 2013 06:36 pm Title: Think of Me
Awwwww. Very sweet. I always thought that Exile was an underrated episode, a feminist calling out of "Beauty and the Beast" crying out as if to say "no, it's not romantic to be held prisoner and that's not love." But love is here between Reed and Sato, and it's very lovely.
Thank you, Honeybee.
Date: February 07, 2013 01:34 am Title: Stepping Into the Darkness
I really felt Jon's pain. It was beautiful in its simplicity. Had a big tear in my eye when I was done.
Thank you for taking the time to review. I am glad that my story moved you.
Date: February 06, 2013 01:36 pm Title: Stepping Into the Darkness
Jon's anguish is so heart-wrenching! The way you wrote this, I can really feel his pain. The fact that he didn't know he was going to be a father until after she died is so sad.
There is hope, though, isn't there? I saw that this story isn't finished. I hope something happens that gives Jon the will to keep on living.
Kathy, thanks for the review, I am glad that you enjoyed it. Unfortunately, the story is finished. I just forgot to check that box when submitting the story. I am sorry if my oversight gave you hope. :( But the great thing with fiction is that the characters will live to play another day!
Date: February 06, 2013 04:47 am Title: Stepping Into the Darkness
Holy crap, that was so painful to read. Jon's despair is so real. I can understand his need for it to be over.
I guess there are some things that you can't come back from.
Sometimes there isn't. I am glad you enjoyed the story and thanks for reviewing!
Date: February 06, 2013 03:36 am Title: Sour Girl
That was interesting. I admit that I had expected some resistance from the Tuckers. I should have realized that since Charles already knew so much about the fate of his children from the other universe that he would be prepared for all of this.
Trip and T'Pol just let T'Mir think she was playing them when all the time they knew what was going down with her and Dante.
Nicely wrapped up but it does seem like you are leaving some things for them to deal with in future stories. I hope!
My plan all along was that Charles was one step ahead of his kids. I think he and T'Pol would have to be to have thrived in this MU for so long! And yes, there's plenty more to tell here. I have a scene in my head where Henry's mother comes looking for him that will have to be written one day, and then of course Archer will have to find out about Henry! I doubt I'm done with these characters. :) Again, thank you. Thank you. Your last picture of Henry and Lorian is now my wallpaper.
Date: February 04, 2013 09:24 pm Title: Improprieties
Very nice! I really enjoyed this.
It was also rather hot. *fans self* I would imagine this situation the same way, after they had worked together for so long, and all of a sudden they find themselves alone in a vacation spot with none of the pressure of duty. The way you wrote it made it seem very natural.
My favorite line: She sighed, content, feeling very much like a sated cat lounging in a warm pool of sunlight. That conveys so much in one sentence.
Date: February 04, 2013 01:25 pm Title: Sour Girl
I'm sorry to see this end. It does seem that everything has worked out nicely for everyone. Given the circumstances, I think Henry's done well for himself, and I'm glad he was told about his father.
It's interesting that you decided to go with Charles' thoughts at the end of the story, although I do agree he is a lucky man in both universes. But being the father of one of the people in each of two different relationships, that does serve to tie it together.
I don't envy these characters. Your story clearly illustrates the fine line they have to walk. It gives the story an edginess that really brings across how difficult it is to live in that empire. I also appreciate that, while there was an instance of violence (the guard smacking Henry around), it was more than offset by the love that developed.
It's a little shiny to have a happy ending in th MU, but hey, this is the V-Day fic, right? I originally wanted this much shorter, but I think I could have written 100,000 words. I did leave it open for the sequel, because it's fascinating to have characters who are fundementally good but have a different ethical framework. I also wanted to end with some of our classic heros, rather than my OCs, especially MU Trip, who I always imagine is one step ahead of everyone! But I'm so pleased that you enjoy the OCs and their little world. Ultimately, I tried to make it so T'Mir and Lorian insulated in their Versailles-like bubble, and then Henry comes along and shows them how good they have it. So, anyway, thank you so much for your support, and I'm so addicted to these characters I think you'll see them again!
Date: February 01, 2013 12:00 pm Title: Sour Girl
That last line cracked me up. Those Tucker children sure have a propensity for quickly falling in love and acting on it, don't they?
I know you said that Archer wouldn't make an appearance in this story, but I can hardly wait to find out what, exactly, his position is. Lorian and T'Mir are both worried about what happens if everyone realizes that Henry is his son, so it's got to be something either very important or very bad. Both?
Dante presenting the flower to T'Mir was a romantic gesture that one might not expect of Romulans, but then, this is MU. Perhaps Romulans are more gentle-natured here?
Archer is the consort of the Empress, who isn't Hoshi but rather Trip's sister Elizabeth. I wrote a very long MU story called "A Mirror Cracked" in which Trip has to go rescue his sister from Empress Hoshi, only to discover Elizabeth has had Hoshi "taken care of" and has taken her place, and married Archer because he's a great lay and not smart enough to be a threat to her power! So, I made this a defacto sequel to that! So, Archer is the Consort to the Empress and probably fancies himself an Emperor in all but name. TnT's kids, being blood related to the Empress are "of the blood royal".
As for the Tucker kids, a Vulcan propensity to bond plus teenage human impulse does make them passionate and impulsive! And Romulans and Vulcans are much closer in this timeline, since the Romulans assist Vulcan in resistence. But Empress Elizabeth is trying to integrate Vulcan and Vulcans into her empire, using her sister-in-law to do it!
Date: February 01, 2013 05:24 am Title: Sour Girl
Lorian needs to protect Henry from what and who he now knows about. This may be his greatest danger. History is full of men being killed to protect a throne.
T'Mir sure did a rapid turn around. Bemoaning her fate all the way to Vulcan and then falling into bed with Dante. The girl makes up her mind at warp speed.
Lorian and Henry getting married is probably not going to go over in the MU as smoothly as it did in the RU. It appears that much 'stuff' is about to hit the fan.
I cannot imagine that this Trip and T'pol are going to be pleased. I know they want Lorian to be happy but I think they had more of a sex partner and sounding board in mind.
Yes, I researched history. Emperor Augustus was Ceasar's adopted, not bio son. Nero was a stepson of Claudius. And Henry VI's illegitimate half brother had a son who with a tenous claim to the throne through his mom and a big army got to be Henry VII of England. So, this Henry's birth circumstances would not hinder him becoming a threat, even though he really isn't one. Lorian, as impulsive a teenager as his sister, thinks he can protect him. T'Mir, on the other hand, just needed a friend to tell her that it wasn't okay that she didn't have a choice, but to make the most of it. Seeing Lorian accidently happy kind of inspired her. Anyway! TnT return in the next chapter and all will be revealed! Thanks!
Date: January 31, 2013 04:07 pm Title: Sour Girl
I think Henry's a lot more insightful than either T'Mir or Lorian give him credit for. His comment about T'Mir's marriage saving millions of lives was very to the point.
It should be interesting to see what happens when they arrive at Vulcan.
I think so! Henry is the one of the three that has faced his own death head on, and so he does have some insight there! Thanks again for reading!
Date: January 31, 2013 04:23 am Title: Sour Girl
No wonder T'Mir is a bit looney. So many images from so many timelines would rattle your brain. But on the other hand, it did let her quickly figure out Henry's parentage.
It would be nice to know that people you meet are friends in other times and places. Sort of instant trust. They are so cute together, already bantering like old friends. I must say though, I can see why she's angry. Being locked up and constantly guarded would get old.
Too bad Lorian knows her so well, her reputation precedes her, so I get that Lorian is taking no chances. He would have a hard time explaining to his parents if T'Mir got the chance to pull a stunt.
Henry's instant love for Lorian certainly makes his situation a win-win. And he is most definiitly doing a good job of taking care of his responsibilities.
Because this is a universe that doesn't value equality, it's doubly hard for T'Mir to be aware of the RU. But that's why Henry, while being a slave is difficult, isn't chaffing as much as T'Mir. He doesn't know any better, just rightfully knows he could have landed in a much worse situation, and if he ran away he'd probably end up in a bad situation. I thought a lot of what it would be like to grow up in a society where people aren't uncomfortable with slavery or forced prostitution (both of which exist now but at least most westerners are very against), and how it would change how people see the world. Anyway, thanks again!
Date: January 30, 2013 12:45 pm Title: Sour Girl
Henry realizes how much better his life is since he escaped execution, but I wonder if he realizes how lucky he is that was Lorian who saved him. And I'm so glad he told Lorian about T'Mir's offer; if he hadn't, I could see that driving a wedge between his developing relationship with Lorian.
Good insight, or maybe Vulcan logic, on Lorian's part about how his sister's actons could be seen as a betrayal of her duty. I wonder if Lorian feels as trapped by duty as she does?
This is a very different reality, where Humans don't really understand the concept of equality. However, Lorian is Vulcan enough to feel very uneasy with having a slave, and on top of that, he's human enough to know loving one could get him in trouble. Henry just feels incredibly close and loyal to Lorian, because he does feel rescued by him. Henry also doesn't really think escape is wise, as he knows just how harsh the Earth law can be. But Lorian didn't tell Henry he couldn't or shouldn't go, did he?
Date: January 30, 2013 04:04 am Title: Sour Girl
That was beautiful. Those two are meant to be together in any reality. We can see that the bond is already forming between them. Lorian took great care with Henry.
Lorian appears to be as confused as Henry. Lorian was raised with the concept of owning slaves. It does not make him a bad man to follow ingrained customs, but we can see that his Vulcan half is at war with that.
I wonder how Lorian would deal with the realities of owning Henry according to custom. Would he hunt him down if he tried to escape (which seems unlikely) or would he punish him for going where he shouldn't, maybe helping T'Mir to escape. The sort of things a headstrong boy might do.
I imagine Lorian would have a formidable temper if pushed. There is no way a relationship like this can be all black and white.
I am glad that Henry was up front about T'Mir's request. I wouldn't want Lorian to get blindsided by his sister's plans.
Thanks! I think Lorian is in a worse position than Henry, since Henry is at this point simply grateful to be alive and feels lucky to have been given to Lorian, as opposed to someone who would not treat him so kindly. Lorian, however, feels guilty and uncomfortable. I think he would let Henry go in a second if he thought that was what was best for him, but what's best for Henry isn't clear. Neither T'Mir or Henry have any money or anywhere to go, so running away is probably a bad idea. But yes, I think Lorian would have a temper, and he would punish Henry if he thought that would protect him somehow. It's not black and white at all.
Date: January 28, 2013 06:12 am Title: Sour Girl
Talk about feeling like a pet.' The groomer' is a perfect title for those that clean up the slaves and make them presentable.
I realize that this is the best Henry can hope for and it will probably only get better, but still...feel like a piece of meat much.
It appears that Henry is going to make an impressive companion, being so beautiful. I hope that as captain, Lorian quickly earns the respect of his crew.
I love seeing these character like this. It is such an interesting turnaround. One thing that did strike me, I hope that Lorian and T'Mir begin to actually start seeing the world through Henry's eyes and experiences. Even in this day and age, the privileged have no concept of how the other half have to struggle.
I also hope that T'Mir doesn't do something that gets Henry into trouble. I want to see Lorian and Henry get together, not him getting punished because of Lorian's wayward sister!
Speaking of getting together, I hope we don't have to wait very long (hint).
I debated about which word to use, but groomer is perfect I think, very MU. Lorian doesn't have a clue that the word would be degrading, it's always been part of his life, and he's right about it at least physically feeling good to Henry. Lorian and T'Mir both do start to realize how different Henry's life has been, and they both like him just like in the RU. They know in the abstract how different life outside the palaces is, but this is probably the first time they've known someone from there. And Henry, though he will take to the physical pleasures, it's still not easy. Speaking of physical pleasures, you've got two beautiful teenage boys who are attracted to one another and staying in the same room. Plus one saved the other's life. Yeah, I don't think you will have to wait long for stuff to happen. Thanks as always! :)